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Childrens Concept Of Death...
Children of all ages have their own concept of death.
The child with a terminal condition, has most likely, previously experienced death by loss of a family member, friend, or pet.
Past experiences with death for children with leukaemia, as well as, his/her age, emotional development, and surroundings are what most influence a child's own concept of death.
And a great number of children will not have experienced death in any form.
However, cartoons, movies, television, video games, and even books are filled
with images of death.
Adults often transfer their fear and/or misconceptions of death to their
children. Like it or not death is part of life but often treating it that
way is difficult, however, it will help alleviate some of the fear and confusion
associated death.
For a family dealing with the death of a child through
leukaemia it is important to do so within the cultural beliefs and norms
of the larger family circle.
Developmental age is a broad term used to describe the maturity of thought
process development. Children may be more or less mature in their thinking
and processing information, than others, at a similar age. The following
are children's concepts of death, according to common developmental ages:
Infant
For an infant, death has no real concept. Infants do, however, react to separation
from parent(s), painful procedures, and any alteration in their routine.
An infant that is terminally ill will require as much care, physically and
emotionally, to maintain a comfortable environment as any age group. Maintaining
a consistent routine is important for the infant and his/her caregivers.
Because infants cannot verbally communicate their needs, fear is often expressed
by crying.
Toddler
For the toddler, death has very little meaning. He/She may receive the most
anxiety from the emotions of those around him/her. When a toddler's parents
and loved ones are sad, depressed, scared, or angry, he/she senses these
emotions and become upset or afraid. The terms "death" or "forever" or "permanent" may
not have real value to children of this age group. Even with previous experiences
with death, the child may not understand the relationship between life and death.
Death is not a permanent condition.
Preschool
A Preschool Child may begin to understand that death is something feared
by adults. This age group may view death as temporary or reversible, as in
cartoons. Death is often explained to this age group as "went to heaven." Most children
in this age group do not understand that death is permanent, that everyone and
every living thing will eventually die, and that dead things do not eat, sleep,
or breathe. Death should not be explained as "sleep" to prevent the
possible development of a sleep disorder.
Their experience with death is influenced by those around them. They may
ask questions about "why?" and "how?" death occurs. The pre-school
child may feel that his/her thoughts or actions have caused the death and/or
sadness of those around. The pre-school child may have feelings of guilt and
shame.
When a child in this age group becomes seriously ill, they may believe it
is their punishment for something they did or thought about. They do not
understand how their parents could not have protected them from this illness.
This idea may make the preschool-age sibling of a dying child to feel as
if they are the cause of the illness and death. Young siblings of dying children
need reassurance and comforting during this time period, as well.
School-age
School-aged children are developing a more realistic understanding of death.
Although death may be personified as an angel, skeleton, or ghost, this age
group is beginning to understand death as permanent, universal, and inevitable.
They may be very curious about the physical process of death and what happens
after a person dies. They may fear their own death because of uncertainty
of what happens to them after they die. Fear of the unknown, loss of control,
and separation from family and friends can be the school-aged child's main
sources of anxiety and fear related to death.
Adolescent
As with people of all ages, past experiences and emotional development greatly
influence an adolescent's concept of death. Most adolescents understand the
concept that death is permanent, universal, and inevitable. They may or may
not have had past experiences with death of a family member, friend, or pet.
Adolescents, similar to adults, may want to have their religious or cultural
rituals observed.
Most adolescents are beginning to establish their identity, independence,
and relationship to peer groups. A predominant theme in adolescence is feelings
of immortality or being exempt from death. Their realization of their own
death threatens all of these objectives. Denial and defiant attitudes may
suddenly change the personality of a teenager facing death. An adolescent
may feel as if they no longer belong or fit in with their peers. In addition,
they may feel as if they are unable to communicate with their parents.
Another important concept among adolescents is self-image. A terminal illness
and/or the effects of treatment may cause many physical changes that they
must endure. The adolescent may feel alone in their struggle, scared, and
angry.
It is important for parents to realize that children of all ages respond
to death in a unique way. Children need support and, in particular, someone
who will listen to their thoughts, and provide reassurance to alleviate their
fears.
Edited by: Kevin Hart MA
NOTE: This web site is designed for educational purposes only and is not engaged in rendering medical advice. The information provided through this site should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, you should consult your health care provider